I’m not sure if I should be typing this out and publishing it but certainly it feels like I need to see something out there and concrete (or digital) about what I’m doing, or going to do, in the next few months. This is not a follow-up from my previous blog, but that has one in the incubator.
Beyond getting a solid job.
Beyond The National Lottery.
Beyond letting go of The Dream.
Beyond giving up on the creative life
Beyond waiting for the phone to ring
Beyond not being happy through making
Beyond settling for something that isn’t me.
Beyond not answering the call to be authentic
Beyond not experiencing giving joy to someone else
Beyond not sitting at a table with an empty sheet of paper and a full mind
Beyond not sitting at a table with full reams and an unfolding mind.
Beyond not being able to see through another person’s eyes.
Beyond not helping others experience another person’s life
Beyond not feeling.
Beyond all that.
This needs to work how I want.
Creatively, passionately, constant and consistently.
Until what I’ve been feeding starts to feed me.
Until then, something has to change.
The time has come for me to look at what I’m doing with the creative life and how to make it work for me. It’s going to take time and investment of money but all that is necessary. The plan to consolidate my living situation and my studio is part of that plan so I can work more flexibly. Since my exhibition in June I haven’t been to the studio to make anything and it hurts. There needs to be a constant drip-effect of my work until there is a river. More structure around what I do with my time. Thank god for the Sketch Pact group on Facebook – that has seen a more-or-less stream of my work but I know it wants to grow. With my plans for cheaper living and setting up a different studio situation, more streamlined to what I think will be productive, I’m hoping that it’ll be the first steps to something solid.